3rd year is fascinating... I don't think I can say it enough times. Being exposed to all the different fields of medicine is like seeing little shattered fragments of humanity - each field attracts a certain "type". I've realized that that each specialty can be summed up by one defining moment. Today, we start with my first rotation...
I love to eat. In fact, if you had to ask me what my hobbies were, I would probably put "cooking" as #1, followed by "eating my own cooking" at #2 and "wishing I hadn't eaten my own cooking" at a close third†. Point is, I really enjoy eating. It's almost a spiritual experience for me; so when food becomes nothing more than sustenance I start getting a little upset.
Now, as a third year med student, you become quite the chameleon, mimicking everything your higher-ups do. This particular day I was following the same surgeon who was involved in the sanitizer debacle. We had 5 minutes between cases (sound familiar?), so he decided we'd go grab some lunch.
He sprints up to the doctors' lounge and grabs a turkey sangwich, throws away the top piece of bread, and folds the whole thing in half. This wasn't no wussy sandwich either... there was about half a turkey on this thing. Three of these babies and we coulda held Thanksgiving for the entire state of Vermont. I followed suit with the folding.
The doc proceeds to stuff the sandwich in his mouth like those freakish pythons you always see eating crocodiles on nature shows. I swear he unhinged his jaw. Somewhere, Steve Irwin shifted in his grave. I tried to do the same and failed miserably.
Now, this is a problem. We were running back to the OR, which, of course, is sterile - which means I need a mask, hat, and no sandwich once I get there. I'm still gagging down the remains of Gobbles the Turkey, and my surgeon shows no signs of slowing.
I finally made the executive decision to stuff the entire sandwich in my mouth and put the mask on over my face, thusly 1) becoming sterile and 2) giving my freakishly bloated cheeks added support. As there was no way I could chew, the sandwich slowly digested in my mouth.
What I learned: Surgeons, like snakes, are not human.
†It involved raw chicken, uncooked eggs, and a very ill-advised attempt at "American Style Sushi" ††
††Anybody who wants to come, I'm throwing a dinner party at our house on Saturday. You're all invited... just say the blog sent you.