Comments on: Anecdotes: OB/GYN

By: LC

LC — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 06:31:29 +0000

I divorced my husband during the third year of obstetric residency, which was a second residency. My daughter and I hardly missed him by then. He never made it to her school functions, recitals, science fairs, ever. But, I think that was just him. He found time for things he wanted, like on the phone and hanging out rehashing the political garbage of residency with his “family” of residents. He was rarely home when he was there. He was chronically exhausted, mean, and self-focused. He became obsessed with malpractice issues and how to keep everyone from getting his money. I started the first residency “with him” and my focus was appreciating him when he was there, not bitching like I heard so many wives. Our lives were on hold all of the time … at age fourteen his daughter doesn’t know him and doesn’t want to. Nothing is more sad or tragic. I know it would be that way either way. The system of training, indoctrination, and expectations beyond what is humane is the cause. Why do people go along with it … and lose their loved ones/families? It is so unnecessary .. it is about control of money and litigation. He went from being disturbed about the way women and babies were treated and wanting to get a journalist to cover it in his first year, to becoming shut-down and numb so he would become stuck in the financial obligations that keep them there.

If the system would allow real midwifery, the load of the care needed could be divided between doctor, nurse, and midwife. A midwife is glad to be a woman’s primary caregiver and be there throughout, which is really important emotional support. Doctors have to be in the office doing monthly exams, available for surgery and births night and day. It’s crazy-making for everyone except the hospital coffers. If nurses and midwives helped play a part in the care of pregnant women, it would be acceptable for the doctor to just show up at the last minute, do the medical deeds and move on.

Of what service is the current system to women? They are forced to accept only the care of an OB, that when all is said and done is so inadequate and minimal.

The tragedy from my perspective is seeing a man turn into someone so nasty to women. Why do we expect them to be all to everyone … so that end up tragically giving such poor quality to all?

By: Bongi

Bongi — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 07:06:43 +0000

Don’t do surgery. Sometimes the job demands it.
I actually posted on a similar topic recently called toughen up.
Different strokes for different folks.

By: non-meddie

non-meddie — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 18:58:20 +0000

I’m just never going to have children. And then I won’t have to think about this shit.

By: CJ

CJ — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 07:16:51 +0000

My thoughts…is that it can be the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows… in the labor and delivery room. *sigh*

By: JL

JL — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 23:45:09 +0000

This complete and utter destruction of one’s personal life is why I could never, ever be an obs/gyne. One of the male obs/gyne I knew of worked crazy long hours (read: 7am – 10pm, not including deliveries) and his happiest days were the ones when he could get home in time to… tuck his children into bed.

Also, the miracle of birth – is messy.

By: bill

bill — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 02:51:57 +0000

I think that if I were a woman who was by god expecting a certain doc, and he/she didn’t show up at ALL, I’d be more than a little ticked. Not a logical attitude, I know.

By: Heather

Heather — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 02:26:22 +0000

I’d tend to think that they like to be able to bill for the visit. But it does sound awfully nice that they show up.