Agraphia Medical Tragicomedy


Bad Day – The Response

Flipping through my favorite blogs, I came across this entry by Fiznat.

It struck a chord with me, because over the past few days I've been echoing the mirror sentiment to his. Not jaded and trampled upon (hope you feel better, buddy!) but frustrated, confused, and above all, exhausted.

To follow up on the sentiments in my previous post - I'm just damn tired. I'm tired of waking up at 4:30 every morning and never leaving work earlier than 5... and being "on" the whole time. I'm tired of falling asleep for hours the instant I hit the comfy chair at home. I'm tired of trying to pry my eyes open during lectures that otherwise would be interesting. I'm really, really tired of feeling like medicine consumes everything in my life. And you know what makes me even more tired? The sobering realization that I could be this tired for the rest of my life.

I was in a pretty foul mood this morning because I just didn't want to get out of bed... and it's only been a week since I started obstetrics. I perked up a lot after seeing a few patients - I got to tell a woman her baby doesn't have Down's syndrome (bonus!) - but now that I'm home again I'm fighting the urge to pass out on the couch. Just like every other day.

So Fiznat, here's the rub. You hate your job because it's just a job. I hate my job because it's consumed and infiltrated everything I do. I never realized I was signing my life away when I got accepted to medical school, but it's pretty clear that I have. Right now, honestly all I want is "just" a job.

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  1. It sucks doesn’t it? The fact that there are so few “good” jobs that don’t consume your *entire* life, but also are interesting enough to make it worthwhile….

    I keep wondering whether I’ll care less about the “just a job” part as I get older, but it sure as hell bothered me before, so I don’t know if that will change. The “all life consuming” part seems palatable to me at the moment — but only because I find what I’m doing interesting. That will probably change as soon as I start treating patients with the same diseases day in and day out. Or if I have kids….

    And they keep telling us it only gets worse in residency. I guess take it day-to-day? And don’t go into OB?

    Feel better.

  2. I am with Old MD Girl, no OB… I would say the ER, but you obviously don’t want the long hours… Hmmm, so you want a job that is fun and at the same time not putting in all those crazy hours… Well when you find that job, please call me cause this medical field is already kicking my a!s (2nd year med. student)… But perhaps I do know of a job that would be perfect, lots of money & only a few hours a day, but you better start getting on that pole now and dancing haha…

    p.s. don’t lose hope!!!

    25 year old Jersey girl

  3. so what are you thinking now since you’ve finished with the OB rotation???

  4. are you EVER going to update?

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