Agraphia Medical Tragicomedy


Got Milk?

I saw a really, morbidly obese woman in the grocery store today buying whole milk for her extremely fat teenaged son and her soon-to-be-extremely-fat young daughter.

I almost told her that her kids should be drinking skim, not whole milk. Then she started to scream at her kids like a harpy and I figured it was best to stay out of it. I can just imagine the conversation...

Me: Ma'am, your children don't need to be drinking whole milk. In fact, they should cut all liquid calories out of their diets, as they may soon be mistaken for land-faring manatees.
Her: BWAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! (I die a violent death as she rips off my head)

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  1. Be careful…. remember what happened over at
    If you don’t know what i’m talking about look back in my blog to aug 16th. Hugs.

  2. (although, off the record, i do agree with you. i sometimes doubt i will be able to fulfill my dream of being a cardiologist/cardiothoracic surgeon)

  3. Zac, this situation reminds me of what Betty White said to William Shatner at his Comedy Central Roast:

    “Oh, but you look great! (Hesitantly) You know, they make 1% milk now? Darling, you’re supposed to explore the galaxy, not fill it.”

  4. How did you know that she was buying the milk for the overweight individuals present with her?

  5. Touché! Though, the way they were talking about the groceries made it a pretty reasonable guess.

  6. Milk goes well with cookies.

  7. As a consumer of milk (and in no way a spokesperson for the Arizona Dairy Peoples) I have to say that I find your post degrading, immoral, communisitic, demonic, childish and an insult to my religion. There are those in the world who find the flavor of anything other than whole milk insulting and who are you — living your god-less, fat-less, hippy life there in liberal land — to tell those of us who can’t help it what to do? Who am I to tell my children that they should exercise and eat right? And who are you to tell me that I’m unhealthy? The world would be a better place if there weren’t people like you discussing your crazy, liberal notions in open forums; I long for the days when everyone did whatever they wanted, conformity was cherished and dissenting opinions were swiftly and brutally quashed. You, sir, are an evil-doer in the worst sense of the term and I am ashamed to have read your words.

  8. I agree with Lyle. President Bush should update the axis of evil to include Iran, North Korea, and skim milk.

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