I saw a really, morbidly obese woman in the grocery store today buying whole milk for her extremely fat teenaged son and her soon-to-be-extremely-fat young daughter.

I almost told her that her kids should be drinking skim, not whole milk. Then she started to scream at her kids like a harpy and I figured it was best to stay out of it. I can just imagine the conversation…

Me: Ma’am, your children don’t need to be drinking whole milk. In fact, they should cut all liquid calories out of their diets, as they may soon be mistaken for land-faring manatees.
Her: BWAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! (I die a violent death as she rips off my head)