Agraphia Medical Tragicomedy

14Feb/10Off

Mommy Line

Reading this post from an old friend (hi Al!) reminded me of my favorite Mommy Line call ever.

Now, Mommy Line calls tend to vary from stupid to stupider.  Why?  I don't know - but questions like "Can I drank while pragnint?"  or "I think my water just broke and I'm having contractions, but can I stay home and finish watching Cougar Town?" are a dime a dozen.

One night the good Dr. F was fielding calls, and the conversation transpired as follows:

So, I'm 40 weeks pregnant, and I keep getting this feeling like I have to poop.

Ok, well, sometimes that can be a sign of contractions.  Has your water broken?

No.  When I feel like I have to go poop, I go sit on the toilet, and I do.

Do... what?

Poop.

Ah. Let me get this straight, just so there's no confusion.  You feel like sometimes you need to poop.  And when you feel that way, you do, in fact, poop.

That is correct.

... you should probably just poop.

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  1. My favourite call on the Mummy Line went a bit like this:

    “I’m 38 weeks pregnant and I think my waters have broken”
    “Oh yes?”
    “Yeah I just got out of the shower and I’m all wet”

  2. Good we’ve got these patients so dependent on us that they won’t even deficate without our permission!

    Reminds me of that old Monty Python delivery scene:

    Woman: “Should I push?”

    Doctor: “You’re hardly qualified, are your?


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