Agraphia Medical Tragicomedy



So they say that pediatrics is more about the parents than the kids. I guess I chalked that up to hyperbole.

Good lord was I wrong.

The very first couple that I saw were bringing in their first baby (5 weeks old). The kid was absolutely adorable. Mom and Dad pounced on Dr. B like a hawk the second he walked in. Now, I'd like to point out a couple of things before I continue this story.

1) The dad is a doctor.
2) The mom is a (high powered) lawyer.
3) This is the kind of couple that can handle the running of a small country, survive shipwrecked on a deserted island, or find the cure for cancer. They were that smart.

They brought their baby in because of a rash. The conversation transpired as follows.

Dr. B: So this rash came on about a week ago?
Mom: Yes, probably 8 days or so.
Dad: She also has colic. I perform these maneuvers (he proceeds to show us a series of extremely painful-looking movements on the baby. She looks extremely unhappy) to help expel the flatulence from her rectum.
Dr. B: And where did you pick those up?
Dad: Oh, we use them in my practice. They're pretty standard (the baby begins to cry). Honey, do you want to tell him about the hair?
Mom: Oh... I freaked out because she had little soft downy hairs all over her shoulder, back, and forehead. I don't want her to look like a caveman.
Dad interjects: Y'see, doc, the women on my side of the family... I don't know if you noticed, but I'm Indian (he's very obviously Indian) and they all have really awful facial hair. It's pretty gross.
Mom: Yeah, I figured I'd nip it in the bud... and so I used Nair all over her.
Dad: But that's not why we're here. We're wondering what's causing her rash.

Uncomfortably long pause.

Dr. B: It's probably the Nair.

Somehow I managed to stop from giggling. I love medicine.

Hey there Grand Rounds readers... check out my Best Of for more (or if you're a med student, I'm doing daily USMLE facts to force myself to keep posting while studying for Boards)

Filed under: Best Of, Medicine Comments Off
Comments (12) Trackbacks (3)

    man, i cannot wait to get those type of parents into my office!!! =)

  2. Oh. My. God. Hilarious! Disturbing. Hilarious!! 😉

  3. You gotta love it! That must be the same couple I see pushing the crying baby with no blankets in gale force winds in the jogging stroller while they run together…

  4. That’s awesome :) Sounds like something from an episode of House. Really makes you wonder, sometimes …


    Sorry, my first comment on a new blog which I visit is normally very intellectual. But something about those parents? brought out the raw laughter. :)

  6. This is obviously an example to show that being smart and having common sense do not always go hand in hand.
    That poor baby is going to need therapy by the time she is an adult if not before.

  7. Poor baby. Geez.

  8. Just for kicks…what treatment did you prescribe to get rid of the rash (other than to stop using the nair)?

  9. I wish I was your back office nurse. Days would just fly by.Hilarious

  10. I like this theme you are using… what is it?

  11. Those people are so smart that they are stupid. The poor baby-between the Nair and the painful maneuvers she has a hard time.

  12. HAHAHAHA, that’s ridiculous!

Trackbacks are disabled.

Pack of Sensations » Blog Archive » Grand rounds is up at Medskool