Agraphia Medical Tragicomedy



Last night I had a nightmare that I was given a pager by some shadowy hospital administrator. It was about the size of a car battery and sounded like an air-raid siren when it went off. With a sickly smile he told me to make sure I was wearing it at all times, and then melted back into the darkness.

I should say at this point that like the good Dr. Blackman, I hate my cellphone almost more than I can bear. Don't get me wrong, being able to call anyone from anywhere is pretty nifty, but I hate people trying to get in touch with me. In fact, I've gotten so adept at thumbing the mute button through my pants that I rarely pick up my phone any more at all. The less people expect to get in touch with me, the less they will. Win-win!

Unfortunately the reality is that I'll have a pager within 6 months, so any hope of not being at someone else's beck and call is a moot point. My pager will wake me from my sleep, interrupt at dinner, and shriek during movies. All in all, kind of like a baby, except that babies are cute and cuddly.

The good news is, I guarantee I'm going to get really good at conveniently having my pager go off when I want an excuse to leave the room.

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  1. scary!!! my worst fear…..i think that is the worst part about being a doctor–you forever become reachable!!! AGGHHH!!!!

  2. Hmm, turning your phone off, not answering it, and taking forever to get back to messages…. sounds like someone else I know…. someone who likes to listen to country music and vote republican.

    Also, I went to match day yesterday and they had a box to collect pagers and keys from 4th years. Man, were they happy to let them go!

  3. um. who are you talking about mr. nelly???? I’m curious. I’d love to meet this country loving republican!

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