Agraphia Medical Tragicomedy


Premeds… ha!

So, the surgery club president just forwarded me this email:

I understand that the meeting tomorrow is extremely important but I will be unable to make it on time. I have class in the PAS until 5:05 and refuse to miss the class because every minute is actually filled with valuable material. I would appreciate a succinct report of the important details and will still try to make it to the meeting.

Thank you,

Just for a quick bit of background- this is some undergrad that none of us know, who wanted to come to a surgery club (read: medical school) meeting. Now, I think we all want to punch this kid in the face as much as I do. So, to make myself feel better, I wrote him back this email.

Hi Jim-

Sorry I didn't get back to you earlier about the meeting- I heard you didn't get a chance to make it. I believe this falls under my jurisdiction as the education coordinator- how can I get you the summary of the meeting? Email would be easiest for me, though I could probably fax or hand-deliver it to you at a time that would work better for you (obviously you have many important classes that can't be missed). I'm a little busy, but I should be able to get it to you somewhere in between our week of 4-hour long tests, 5 hours of class a day, clinic volunteering, coordinator responsibilities, and doctor shadowing.

Also, how succinct is "succinct"? I could keep it to one page with bullet points if that would work best for you.

Please let me know if there's anything else I can do- I'm glad to see you've got your sense of entitlement all squared away even before you get to medical school. Best of luck impressing your interviewers!

-Zac, MSII
Education Coordinator, Surgery Club
TotShots Coordinator
Education Coordinator, MSFC
Medical School Nominating Committee
Curriculum Electives Committee
Certified BLS CPR Instructor
AMA Member
Jim you SUCK!

Unfortunately, I can't actually bring myself to send this. I may be an asshole, but even I'm not that big of a jerk. Oh, and by the way- I give you my permission to shoot me if I ever use a signature like that. Ever.

Filed under: Medicine Comments Off
Comments (12) Trackbacks (0)
  1. Don’t worry Zac…I will not hesitate to shoot you if you ever use a signature like that. You can count on me friend!!

  2. OH MY GOD! you HAVE TO HAVE TO HAVE TO send that email. how funny would that be?? Pretty please!! Just leave out the last bit about the giant tool but send the rest. Kids like that need to be taken down a notch.. hey, if you don’t do it, he will be publically humiliated one day by a prof or a dr. so you should just spare him that and do it now yourself!!! :)

    I missed you. Hope exams went well.

  3. Don’t worry Zac…I will not hesitate to shoot you.

    That’s it.

  4. Actually, I think you should just send the dude the picture that says, “you’re a giant tool.” I think he’d get the message :)

  5. Zac,

    What the heck has happened to you? you are completely different now and have turned into the emo med student you once made fun of. You are completely full of yourself to start a blog and tell the world how great you think you are.

    if people want to know how you feel they can call you instead of reading on how you want to cure diseases by screaming infidelities (emo).

    I can’t help but wonder if you are trying to get attention with this ridiculous signature. You forgot to include your sign and favorite color.

    “-Zac, MSII
    Education Coordinator, Surgery Club
    TotShots Coordinator
    Education Coordinator, MSFC
    Medical School Nominating Committee
    Curriculum Electives Committee
    Certified BLS CPR Instructor
    AMA Member”

  6. Oops, sorry for the omission!

    Pisces, and Bubblegum Pink.


  7. Zac, I don’t think of you as emo. I personally view you as swing. Born in the 1920s, you were not accepted in the mainstream until around 1935. You enjoyed much success until the mid to late 1940s. After some conflicts with Nazis and communists, you began to lose popularity as your lively fans started settling down and having children (later to be referred to as the “baby boom”). The advent of R & B and rock & roll finally did you in, so you decided to retire. And you developed a hatred of ampersands.

    You made a brief re-appearance in the 1990s to the delight of many, but you quickly returned to hiding, waiting for the time America would once again need your strong rhythm and fast tempo.

    Really, it fits your life story pretty well. Plus, you love to jump and jive. But not jump & jive.

  8. I promise that we’re not all like that! Good heavens, what a jerk!

  9. Whoa.. you’re only a med student (which means a few years back you were a pre-med), and you act like you’re the Professor of Medicine or something.

    I followed the link from your friend Liz’ blog, and I can’t stop thinking how condescending both of you are to someone who is junior to you by only a few years.


    Med student from Aus

  10. We’re not condescending. We’re shocked at how stupid some people are by not realizing how hard life can be only a few years/1 year up the food chain in med school.

  11. PS. Zac, sorry for drawing attention to an old post of yours and luring premed students to your page :(

  12. I hope I’m not the d-bag you were referring to. When I said “I promise that we’re not all like that!” I meant that most pre-med students are nice and respectful, and when I said “what a jerk!” I was referring to the pre-med, not you. Just so we’re clear.

Trackbacks are disabled.