Agraphia Medical Tragicomedy


Think first, speak second.

So here we were sitting in class the other day, listening to my least favorite professor. This guy is really, really bad. He contradicts himself, he doesn't sound like he knows what he's talking about, and he has a particularly nasty attitude. As a consequence nobody ever shows up to his lectures. Actually, I suppose I can't really say that, since I don't go to his lectures and therefore have no way of knowing.

He's got it out for our class. It's a vicious cycle, really. He teaches badly, so nobody comes, so he puts less effort into his lectures, so even fewer people show. At some point he started making jabs about how nobody comes to class*, and ever since people have been pretty wary of him.

Anyway, during his review, he started going off on details that he had never mentioned in class or written in the notes. People started to get a little punchy (we medical students are a pretty fastidious** bunch... we don't like change, especially 3 days before an exam). At one point, he pulled out his line "well, maybe you guys would know this stuff a little better if you bothered to show up to class". One of my classmates called out "we watch you on the tapes, doc. Not our fault." Several people sagely nodded their heads in agreement.

"Yeah, you go great on doublespeed!" was the someone's followup comment. Stunned silence. Mental note- it's ok to disrespect your prof by not showing up to class. It's another thing entirely to tell a prof he sucks to his face in front of 105 medical students and 10 PhD's. Yikes, dude, I'm getting you a shovel for your birthday. You'll need it to dig yourself out of the holes made by your complete and total lack of tact.

*by the way, doc, unless you're teaching at 8AM and/or immediately before exams, your ability to fill a lecture hall full of medical students is directly proportional to your capability and likeability as a professor. Don't take it out on us.
**double points to the first commenter who can tell me which bacteria is fastidious and grows only on dark chocolate agar.

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  1. Bravo! Both apropos and true.

    When you say chocolate all I hear is endometriosis.

  2. Neisseria gonorrhea + meningitides

  3. we’re done! we’re done! done!!!

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